Panama Update (Day #5)
So here’s a piece of an update I actually e-mailed to Ate Jaline.
A quick update on what’s happening over here:
My Spanish is still in the toddler phase. I can easily do greetings and very simple phrases, and understand the most common phrases/terms when they talk, but it’s still really really hard to keep up. Thank God I have Sara here to translate for me the whole time. But, this coming Friday I’ll be leaving the Lopez family to stay with Tia Maria (who lives in Las Colinas), and I won’t have Sara with me. Luckily in that neighborhood there are a couple brothers (Alex & Jerry) who can speak a little English and may be able to help me out, but other than that, I’m on my own. I’m so nervous! I already have such a hard time trying to converse with Tio and Tia here, and I barely know Tia Maria! But, I’m willing to take this opportunity to get to know the hermanos, hermanas, tios, and tias over in Las Colinas, as well as use this [Sara-less] time to really stretch my espanol. I’m afraid I’ve been relying on Sara a little bit too much in the time that I’ve been here to translate for me. I got the chance to go with Tio and Tia to attend an MPC HH meeting in Gonzalillo, and I didn’t have Sara come with me (because she had to study for her exam), and being there without her was SOOOO hard!!!! I would try and spark conversation to practice my espanol but then they start to speak too fast for me to comprehend and I get all nervous and don’t know what to say back except for “oh… no se.” Then the conversation dies and it gets all awkward hahaha. I’ve been studying so much, with all the books, and writing down all these notes, but the progress is still really slow.
Ate Jaline sometimes I really start to question why I’m here! I know I came here to learn espanol (and I’m determined to fulfill that mission)! But sometimes I feel bad because I know they were expecting a missionary –a functional missionary, and I’m so unable to function without the ability to communicate. It’s great when Sara’s there translating for me, but when she’s not there, it’s so bad! I’m practically a mute! Please pray for me. I’ve been praying for God to give me the grace to focus and to trust Him but it can get so hard at times.
What gives me comfort is knowing that you (and many others) have been in this position before, and God was able to use you and you were able to fulfill His work and mission. Despite the sad and frustrating times, I’m really making it a point to absorb every second. Because I know that in the blink of an eye these 3 ½ weeks will be over and this whole experience will be nothing but a memory, and I want to create great memories and look back on this experience knowing that I held nothing back and seized every opportunity.
